Inside the Mind of JohnnyK

My very first Hit and Run!!

So, perhaps the title is a touch mis-leading .. There was no actual crime committed .. or so the police told us.

My Girlfriend and I were toodling right along Colfax Ave. Directly by the Auraria Campus adjacent to the Light Rail stop. The usual drive nothing pretentious about it (I think it is prudent at this point in the story to point out that my Girlfriend was driving, not me .. not me!). As we motored Along in our traffic cluster, I noticed a young man in the corner of my eye, a college student I’m presuming from the back-pack half hazardously strewn over his shoulder. At any rate, this poor chap was dodging traffic lke a real life game of frogger … Completely J-Walking I would like to add (not that I think this is an actual crime, but if your gonna do it your rolling the dice). Unfortunately he started looking to the other side of the sreen a touch too soon. As we approached his noodle like body in the midst of Colfax, I started to scream! In the beginning, I definitely know there was some bass in my voice, but for the record I couldn’t say how long it may have lasted though. This poor chap tried to dart in front of the car, but grossly missed his mark. The initial hit took place on the front quarter panel of my Girlfriend’s Chevy Equinox but that was just the beginning of the mele. After first impact the momentum continued to force his body into the car thus he just rolled in super slow motion all the way down the side of the car. His stupid head popped right into my rolled down window as I stared in amazement, it was truy astonishing what I was seeing. As we drove through like an automotive Linebacker, his rag doll like form continued to roll along the car paneling all the way back until finally somewhere around the rear passenger door he finally seperated.

As the figure fell to the ground, all traffic skreeched to a clammering hault & my Girlfriend started to unleash a demons wrath of obscenities into her rear view mirror as we continue on. With fear in my eyes and a crackling voice all I could conjure up for words was “Are you fucking SERIOUS!!” As I scream it at the glovebox of the vehicle. We slow down and proceed to pull over, but whilst looking in the mirror I notice the figure looks up, in fact he pops up like a god damn super-hero!! I absolutely couldn’t believe my eyes!! He looked both ways like some type of human meerkat and scampered across the rest of the street and began to run!! Upon seeing this my Girlfriend picked it up in her scope … She put the car in gear and began to persue!! True to crack-head wizardry we were unable to locate him once he got out of site, never fails!!

After a quick phone call to police, which actually seemed un-necessary since the guy fled the scene and there was no damage save some emotional baggage. We ascertained it was time to continue upon our way and try to put the whole thing behind us …

But seriously .. If your out there little fella & your somehow reading this at the Rec Center or the Library (assuming you can read) … please give me a little shout … Provided you can scrounge up some money for a pay phone call …

All my love

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